The Art of the Ask: How to Get People to Join Your Cause

Whether you’re organizing a community initiative, starting a local campaign, or launching a neighborhood effort, bringing people in makes it better. They give what you can’t, sharpening your ideas while widening your impact. And when other people get involved, they often catch your enthusiasm. As one of the women in the Local Leader Lab noted, “It’s great to do a project, but if you don’t involve people, what’s the point?”

But asking for help can be challenging. It can feel like you’re overstepping. It also can be confusing: What do you ask, to whom, and when? It can even feel impossible, like no busy, successful person would ever spare the time. But they do.

Here’s how to get people to say “yes” when you ask for help.

First things first: It’s not about you.

Most people hesitate to reach out because asking feels too transactional. But in reality, you’re not asking for a personal favor. Instead, you’re making a request on behalf of something bigger: your purpose.

Remembering that it’s not about you can help you be more comfortable asking. It also makes people more likely to say yes! Instead of framing it as a personal favor, focus on your vision and what they can specifically do.

People give to vision, not obligation.

Whether through time or money, people want to feel part of something meaningful. When you connect your ask to values you share or a positive outcome, you invite belonging. That sense of connection is the opposite of feeling transactional.

For example, when you raise money for a project, you’re not asking someone to give you money personally. You’re not even really asking them to back that project. What you’re really asking them to do is invest in the community you both care about.

Volunteers, donors, and voters all want to be part of a story that matters, and your job is to invite them into that story.

Instead of: Instead of “Can you donate to my campaign?”

Think: “I’m running to make our schools stronger. Can you help fuel that vision?”

Clarity builds confidence.

Make your requests clear, direct, and very specific. When you’re vague, people freeze. They may be reluctant to overcommit their time. Or they may answer “Sure!” as an expression of interest instead of a hard commitment.

Clarity is also very helpful for you as an asker. If you’re very clear about what you want, you’ll feel more confident approaching people; when you’re confident, people reflect that energy and are more likely to join.

Instead of: “Would you help somehow?”

Think: “Would you host 10 neighbors for a listening session?”

Make it easy to say yes.

“Yes” isn’t as hard as you might think: Research shows that people drastically underestimate how many people will help if they just ask. But you can make it even easier by making the barrier low. Make your requests doable, and start small with your first request.

In other words, don’t ask someone to build a boat; ask them to bring a piece of wood. And to make it even easier, be thoughtful so that you’re asking them to bring their piece of wood. You’ll ask the owner of a restaurant something different than the mom who stands next to you at the bus stop.

Whenever you can, tailor the request to a person’s real-world position and abilities. There’s nothing easier than doing what you’re already doing, after all. And knowing that you’re thinking of them specifically is a powerful personal motivator. These types of “relational asks” feel good, and it makes them trust in your thoughtfulness.

What worked for me was when people acknowledged what I could bring to the table. “Lisa, you’re a fantastic visual thinker. We could use your kind of strategic brainstorming for this campaign,” or “Lisa, you are so in-it-to-win-it, and we could use that kind of spirit here.”

How to get good at asking for help

Your approach is just as important as what you’re asking for. Here are three things to remember to get in the right mindset.

Your energy sets the tone

People mirror your belief. If you have low energy, they’ll assume you’re not passionate, so why should they be? If you show up hesitant, they’ll hesitate.

But if you show up grounded in purpose, they’ll lean in to listen. Take a moment before each conversation to remember your vision.

Focus on your relationship, no matter how close

Make the conversation an actual conversation. As the participants in the Local Leader Lab discovered in practice, nobody wants to feel like a cog in a machine. Make the request warm and appropriate to your relationship. (And you might want to consider asking in person for better results!)

You don’t need a close relationship to make the ask. In fact, you’ll need to expand past your closest relationships if you want to get things done, so find the people who can give what you need and ask them for that specific piece of wood.

And again, don’t freak out about the reach out: another study found that we underestimate strangers’ and acquaintances’ willingness to help more than we do that of our friends; the yes rate is not actually all that different.

Get comfortable asking by practicing

Consider practicing with friends before you start reaching out. In the Local Leader Lab, we break into small groups to practice asking and answering. Participants find that when you practice, you’ll immediately see where you need more clarity. You’ll discover where you need to be more visionary. You’ll get more thoughtful about tailoring your asks. And you’ll build your confidence.

Phrases to practice with someone else

• I thought of you because [personal connection].
• I’m working to [goal/impact] because [why it matters].
• I’d love for you to join me by [specific action].
• Your [skill/connection/value] would make a real difference, and together we can [shared outcome].
• If you’re in, I’ll [next step].

You can’t get a yes without asking, but the real magic comes when you’re asking in service of something that matters. Make your requests warmly and with purpose, and you’ll build something powerful together.